Mini put
by black mage
Summary: Cloud forces Cid and some of the others to go to play min-put. Hilartity ensues. Stupid ending.


It was a cold winter day in Midgar, and it had just started to snow. Tifa was somewhere, but I'm not going to try and decide where right now, and Red XIII, Cloud, Vincent, and Cid were just sitting around the bar. "I thought that it couldn't snow down here," said Cid. "Ahhh... ever since that whole Meteor vs. Holy thing, everything has been screwed up in Midgar. I never thought that they would open an indoor mini put, but that happened too." replied Cloud. Vincent just hovered there. "You know," said Cid, "This place is really starting to get boring. What did you say just opened a few days ago? A strip club?", "No, Cid. I said MINI PUT. I know meteor was loud, but I didn't figure you'd go nearly completely deaf." Said Cloud, just looking at Cid like he was an idiot. "M-i-n-i p-u-t? Are there girls there?" Asked Cid, looking like an idiot. "Yes Cid. Lots of them. More than you can count." said Cloud, sarcastically. Before Cloud could say another word Cid was in the car, honking the horn and yelling "Come on Cloud! Lets go!" Cloud shook his head, and left to get into the car. "Come on Vince. Lets go." Vincent just nodded and followed.  
  
After a long drive in the snow to get to the Mini put, they finally arrived. Cloud lead Cid and Vincent to the club rental booth. Cloud, being the only one who even had any idea on what mini put was, picked the club sizes for Vincent and Cid. "The object of the game," said Cloud, "Is to get the ball into the hole in as little shots as possible." Cid just nodded and asked, "So where's the girls?" Cloud couldn't believe Cid's stupidity. He pointed to some little kids and said "Over there." Cid looked in disbelief and said, "Cloud, this is seriously not what i meant. Cloud just told Cid to shut up and play. Vincent said "You guys go ahead, I'll catch up." Cloud and Cid started to play while Vincent studied the club.  
  
Once they reached the first hole, Cloud said, "I'll go first, so you can see what to do. Cloud carefully lined up the club and his feet, hit the ball and sank the ball in one shot. "That is a hole in one. That is the goal of all golfers." Cid nodded stepped up, and hit the ball as hard as hit could. The ball bounced off a rock hit a windmill, ricocheted off of the top of Vincent's club and landed in the hole for a perfect hole in one. "WOOHOO! YIPPEE! HAHAHA!" Cid yelled jumping up and down. "I got a hole in one! YEAH!" Cloud told Cid to calm down, as it was only the first hole. The two moved up to the next hole, which had one of those annoying windmills.  
  
Cloud was the first to go up, he carefully lined up his put, and waited for just the right time to put. He hit the ball, which rolled quickly towards the hole in the windmill and just before it was there, the wind mill blade fell and stopped it. He putted a second time and got it into the hole. "Damn windmill..." he mumbled while walking off to the side. "Try to be a bit more gentle this time Cid, you're going to kill someone." Cid muttered something under his breath, and went to the mini put tee. He putted at a random moment and the put went off to the side of the windmill. The ball caught on one of the blades, was lifted onto the top of the windmill and rolled off into the hole. "Cid did his usual dance, and Cloud just muttered "Beginners luck." Cid danced to the next hole and Cloud walked afterwards.  
  
After 17 gruelling holes the two arrive at the 18th and hardest hole  
  
"Alright, this is it," said Cloud, "the score is tied, and one of us has got to win. You go first Cid. Its your turn." Cid nodded and stepped up. "I'll just close my eyes and hit, it seems to have done me good so far." He lined up his feet, closed his eyes and hit the ball. It rolled slowly at first, picked up speed going down the hill, bounced off a rock, a lawn gnome, hit a rock that was in the middle of a water hazard and landed an inch from the hole. Cid went over, tapped the ball into the hole, and said, "Beat that materia boy." and walked off to the side. Cloud went up to the tee and placed his ball down lined up his feet and his club, and hit the ball. It was off to a fast start as it went down the first hill, missed the lawn gnome, rolled through the water hazard and went right beside the hole where it stopped, wobbled and went in the hole. Fanfare music came up, and Cloud spun the golf club around his head. The club started to spin too fast, flew out of Cloud's hand, flew through the air, and hit Vincent in the head. Vincent glared at Cloud and his eyes turned blood red. "Oh crap!" said Cloud. Huge wings grew out of Vincent's back as he transformed into Chaos. Vincent roared loudly and destroyed the entire mini put with one blast.  
  
As the 3 were standing in all of the rubble of the mini put, Cloud said, "I hope I don't have to pay for this, I spent all my money of clubs and that mansion in Costa del Sol." Cid just looked at Cloud and said, "Why do you always have to do that? I mean spin whatever you can find around you ****ing head? YOU JUST DESTROYED THE MINI PUT! AND WHERE ARE ALL THE GIRLS?" Cid started having fits and clawing through the rubble. "There are no girls Cid. I was being sarcastic." Cid stood up from the rubble, slowly turned around and said "There... are... no... girls...?" Cid ran towards Cloud and started beating the crap out of him. "YOU BASTARD! YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE GIRLS! AHHHHHHHHH!" Cid continued to beat the living crap out of Cloud and then threw him aside. "Come on Vinnie. Let's get back to the bar. Dukes of Hazard should be on soon. Vincent looked at Cid and said, "It's 7 o'clock. Dukes of Hazard ended an hour ago." Cid ran back towards Cloud and started pounding the crap out of him again while yelling "YOU BASTARD! YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE GIRLS! AND YOU MADE ME MISS DUKES OF HAZARD! IM GOING TO KILL YOU!" After he was done Cid threw Cloud into the back of the car and drove him back to the bar.  
  
After arriving back at the bar, the trio saw that the snow had completely piled up outside, and they couldn't park. Cid kicked Cloud out of the car and said, "Get your ass shovelling. I'm going inside." Cloud lied in the snow, bleeding from the fight. Cid threw the shovel at him and said, "You shouldn't have made me miss Dukes of Hazard. Cloud picked up the shovel and tried to stand up. Once he got up he used some cure materia on himself, and was able to move easily again. Most of the snow was fresh powder so it wasn't too hard of a job. After shovelling snow off to the side for around an hour he was finished and the fanfare music came up again. He twirled the shovel around his head, accidentally let it go. The shovel flew through the air, went through one of the windows on the bar and hit Red XIII in the head. Red XIII just fell over and went unconscious. Cloud saw what he did, got into the car and drove to Junon to catch a boat to Costa del Sol, repeating "I killed him... Oh God, I killed him!" all the way there.  



End file.
